A daughter is married while another is buried

(June 2017)

My heart is opening like a vast black cavern into which everything tumbles, sucking and pulling

A tweet is twisted into a taunt is twisted into a terrorist tumbling into a tethered, vicious anger  that runs loose over on a baseball field in blood and terror

And the music plays under a star-filled evening, a gracious drifting smile and warm embrace… with tears of happiness, remembrance and pride

And “One Manchester” plays in the background,  “Don’t go forward in anger, love spreads”

And two proud, black officers step into the bullets,  they don’t shout “Not my President!”,  they don’t live their lives as “Not my problem”.   It IS their problem…. And they believe that the country that brought them to this field deserves them… and I pray that it does

And the anger is cut down with more bullets

As Ariana takes the stage… beautiful, orchestrated and syncopated… wailing voice, a pony tail pinned tiara on her head…

And today’s rising starlet steps up to the bombers,  she doesn’t shout “Down with ISIS” because you know that Mother Theresa would never speak out against anything.   It IS her problem, and she can bring healing through music… so she does.

I can see my friends then, dressed in black by their baby’s grave site… I wonder if they got the gray day it deserved… but I worry they felt taunted by the sunlight.   Probably not, because it IS their family… and they rejoiced in her memory and take solace in their faith as they start the healing process…

I remember the Amish funerals for the five little girls … murdered in their schoolhouse.   And the Amish community invited the killer’s family, because it IS their problem and that family was suffering too.   I felt a tear fall from Jesus’ eyes on that day… and his heart opened even a little bit more.

“Laughter is carbonated holiness”*.  So I kick off my shoes and drop off my coat on the warm, summer bridal night.   She is always dancing… at least in her head.   So I join her in the cool, lush grass … and the music stops.   We laugh.

“… so now we have to teach our youngest children how to survive an active shooter scenario… “,

And the Islamic State lines the streets of Raqqa with the heads of infidels…

While we rock the fences and bang on the walls that divide us… frothing at the mouth … God help us when the walls fall down and we are face to face with our brothers and sisters, ready to kill an idea but faced with a human…

And the Black Eyed Peas ask, “Where is the love” … “need some guidance from above”… Hey!  Dude!  We REALLY need some help down here.  Are you watching?

Naw… no answer on that line. We’ve met the enemy and it is us.  We’ve met God and He is us.  We own this.

But I’ve seen love that moves mountains… I’ve seen people step in bullets… step into bombs… open their homes to strangers… meet refugees at airports … and just get out of bed on the days that matter most.

I can’t imagine how things could get worse… but they will.   I can’t imagine how things will change more, but they will.   I can’t imagine a beginning more beautiful, but there will be.

Maybe that’s my problem… if I just open my heart and imagine.   Like little 23 year Ariana Grande, who filled her broken heart with a concert called “One Manchester”… because she could imagine.

We can imagine too.   We can smile first and ask questions later.  We can extend a hand to help someone who is hurting … even if it’s because someone they love did a very bad thing.   We can rekindle friendships that were casualties of this war.

There will be other daughters buried… but others will be married.   We have to show up for both of them… and show what true love is all about.

We got this.

 

 

 

  • Laughter is carbonated holiness – Anne Lamott